SUMMING IT ALL UP FIRST - WE HIT RECORD HIGHS TODAY ON THE LOWEST VOLUME OF THE YEAR AS GLOBAL MACRO DATA MISSED EN MASSE... that is all

In the last 12 hours  - China PMI Miss/Drop, Japan All Actvity Index Miss/Drop, France Services PMI Miss, German Manufacturing & Services PMI Miss/Drop, Eurozone Composite PMI Miss/Drop, Chicago Fed National Activity Index Miss/Drop, Initial Jobless Claims Miss/Drop, US Manufacturing PMI Miss/Drop, Bloomberg Consumer Comfort Plunge, Philly Fed Miss/Drop, EU Consumer Confidence Miss/Drop, Existing Home Sales Miss/Drop, Kansas City Fed Collapsed... and Stocks Surge...

First if anyone wondered what was driving US equity strength today (in light of the total collapse in US, European, and Chinese data)... we present...

NOTE - when Oil closed on NYMEX, stocks got jiggy and (see below) VXX manipulation started

Second, volume was the worst of the year... period!

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OK - having got that off our chest, here are your "markets"...

NOTE - Before you all whine about the use of the word "Bounce" when close to close was so weak, perhaps look at the chart first... stocks dumped after hours last night on Goldman's "no slack" report

Stocks rallied excitedly... recovering the BEA-embarrassment dump

In anticipation of how just one more rate cut, one more month of no rate hikes, or one more QE drip will bring about escape velocity and fill the void between the fundamentals and the fallacy of stocks...

Oh and even better, Draghi uttered this total lie - *DRAGHI SAYS ECONOMIC CONDITIONS HAVE IMPROVED RECENTLY

Remember, "Decoupling"...

Trannies bounced the most on the day (after an ugly week)...

Now seemingly loving higher oil prices...

Leaving Nasdaq and Small Caps leading on the week... and Trannies still red

VIX was clubbed like a baby seal... Spot VIX 12.09!!

VIX Futures were a one way street...

VXX hit a new 52-week low - and was just absolutely crushed...

Bonds rallied notably on the day with a dramatic flattening of the curve...

The USDollar limped very modestly lower on the day but remains up over 2.2% on the week...

Despite USD weakness today, gold, silver and copper were all flat to slightly ower on the day...

Post-FOMC, Crude is crushing it, gold sliding...

But crude went full 'there will be blood"-tard...

Charts: Bloomberg

Bonus Chart: Well...

You know the old saying: Bulls make money, bears don't make money, pigs get extremely rich and retire in their 30s with a trophy wife

— 3:30 Ramp Capital (@RampCapitalLLC) May 21, 2015