Just for fun, I set my alarm for 2:45 a.m. ET and I decided to be the first kid on my block to get a brand new iPhoneX. What could go wrong? I know that Apple only has a few million phones available (as of October 27, 2017) and that the demand will be in the tens of millions, but I’ve been here before. Two browser windows open (one Safari, one Chrome), two iPhones running the Apple Store app – I was ready at 2:56 a.m. ET and clicking Refresh to make sure I was first into the online store.

It’s 4:15 a.m. ET and I’ve given up. Right now, I don’t care if I ever see an iPhone again. Ever!

I’ve been all the way through the order process 10 times. There were glitches on every screen, 20- to 30-second wait times for various processing of information, and several interspersed error messages. But in the end, the order button yielded a simple message: “We are unable to process your order. Please try again.”

This would not have bothered me if it didn’t require starting from scratch every time. What’s worse? No email communication, no reservation, no acknowledgment of getting through the entire order process, and, of course, no phones.

Importantly, my phones were acquired last year using Apple’s “new phone every year” plan. This requires some kind of semi-transparent deal with Citizens Bank. (I did the pre-approval in advance to ensure an easy purchase process, but apple.com had no idea this was done, and it didn’t ask for any type of confirmation number.) I don’t know if I could have purchased a new phone outright. There was no way to understand what I would be required to do with my old iPhone 7 Plus. I don’t really own it – the bank or Apple does (I don’t know which). Super-unfortunate – no communication, no way to get help, no way to do anything but waste time trying. Sisyphus would have been sympathetic to my frustration.

A New Reality

This is the very first iPhone I was not able to purchase on launch day. And the funny thing is, I don’t care. It’s a strange feeling, not caring about a new Apple product – especially an iPhone. It’s kind of liberating – sort of like ascending from my childish fanboy world into a soberer “My phone works fine and the new features aren’t compelling enough to make me rush to buy it” grown-up world.

I’m not going into an Apple store anytime soon. There’s no point. I can’t buy the phone at a store. I can’t buy it online, either. The site won’t process my order. I wonder, when am I going to go out of my way to sit on hold for an hour? (1-800-MY-APPLE won’t take calls at the moment, nor does online chat work – both are too busy.) I guess I’ll try them sometime in the next few days and see what happens. Then, I’ll just let it go.

I wish I felt like I “had” to have this new device. I don’t. It doesn’t have any “must have” new features (I’ll live without the new camera tricks for a while). In fact, other than having one to show my friends (who will expect me to have the latest hardware), I’m not sure why I need a new phone at all.

Apple, you may be one of the most valuable companies in the world. You may have more cash than anyone has ever accumulated. You may have the smartest people on the planet working for you. But at some point, bad products and services (MacBook Pro 2016, iOS 11 on older iPhones, etc.) and super-horrible consumer experiences (see above) are going to catch up with you. Yours truly, A Former Fanboy.