The EU’s New “Red Tape Advisor”
Creator of Stammered Works Becomes EU’s Red Tape Whacker
The European Commission seems to be serious about wanting to cut some of the mountain of red tape it has imposed over the years. Only a truly giant weed-whacker can be expected to do the job. In our paperless age, it would probably be best if someone just walked past their servers with a very big magnet.
Anyway, Reuters informs us that JC Juncker has found the right man for the job: former Bavarian premier Edmund Stoiber. We have previously remarked that jobs in the EU are sinecures for political has-beens, and one might at first suspect that to be the case here as well. However, Stoiber actually does appear to be qualified for the task – at the very least, he seems well prepared for it and comes equipped with the proper mindset.
“European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker appointed Germany’s Edmund Stoiber as special adviser on better regulation on Thursday, to help the EU executive fight over-regulation and red tape.
Stoiber, a former premier of the German state of Bavaria who sought to become German chancellor in 2002, has for the past seven years chaired a group advising the Commission on administrative burdens and on how to make EU law simpler and cheaper.
In October, he proposed exempting small- and medium-sized firms from a wide range of business rules with a “bonfire of red tape” aimed at reversing a public perception of Brussels as a “bureaucratic monster”.
“EU citizens need the EU to focus on where it can make a real difference to their lives, not to interfere in every detail. EU businesses need the space to innovate and grow, not get tied up in red tape,” Juncker said in a statement
Stoiber will work closely with Juncker’s deputy, First Vice-President Frans Timmermans, who is also charged with improving regulation.
(emphasis added)
We must admit, the fact that the EU hires a guy who has accused it of being a “bureaucratic monster” for the express purpose of cutting down on unnecessary EU regulations is a positive surprise for once.
JC Juncker himself apparently seems eager to establish his anti-bureaucratic credentials as well: This is not the first time he has made remarks to this effect. A little while ago he thundered that he was “not the leader of some gang of bureaucrats” when Italy’s prime minister Matteo Renzi complained about Brussels interfering too much with Italy’s budgetary plans.
Naturally, we were dismissive of this claim, given the fact that bureaucracy and politics are deeply intertwined in Brussels (this is to say, most European politicians are often at the same time bureaucrats, i.e., they have usually been life-long employees of the State).
Stoiber (right) meets Juncker. Will red tape really be cut? We are waiting with bated breath.
Photo credit: Stephanie Lecocq / EPA
Be that as it may, we seem to have a positive development at hand here, with the caveat being that we need to await the actual results of Stoiber’s upcoming efforts.
In Germany, Stoiber has long been the butt of jokes on account of his somewhat adventurous feats of rhetoric. The man was clearly a gift for stand-up comedians, providing them with a raft of material.
Here is a German language video that collects several of his “Stoiberisms” (which are a very close cousin to G.W. Bush’s “Bushisms”), appropriately entitled “Stoiber’s Stammered Works”.
Of course this is only truly funny for those who understand German, but we can assure you that it really is a knee-slapper. Although much of it is untranslatable, here is a modest attempt at providing at least a glimpse:
“Your flight starts at the main train station in Munich”…”Of course we are happy, that is not in question, we are happy, and the reaction was completely justified, to have a bear in Bavaria who is behaving normally…yes, there is no reason to laugh…we then have a difference between the normally behaving bear, the damage bear and the problem bear…clearly, this bear is a problem bear”….”It must be possible to accomplish this, when I look at the CDU, the representatives of this party, at the top, in the states, in the municipalities, then all that’s still needed is a small sprinkling, so to speak, in the embering glowers [ed.: instead of “glowing embers”, which means “lodernde Glut” in German, he actually says “gludernde Lot” at this juncture], in the embering flood [“gludernde Flut”, ed.], that we can accomplish this, and that’s why, in the glowing flood, if I may say so, and that’s why, Ladies and Gentlemen…”
Well, you can see what we are getting at – “stammered works”, indeed. We are therefore extremely happy that Edmund Stoiber is allowed to continue his career in Brussels, regardless of what he accomplishes there, since he obviously has enormous entertainment value. If indeed he happens to be able to actually cut down on EU red tape as well, all the better.
Conclusion:
A praiseworthy effort by the EU for a change, plus we are going to have fun watching it unfold. What more can one hope for from Brussels?
A glimpse of Bavaria’s famous “problem bear”
Photo credit: DPA
Disclosure: None.